My Stroke – Anniversary (2)

My Stroke Now

In this post I want to explore how I feel now about my stroke, how it affects my life and what the future holds.

There are 5 main areas that have been affected by my stroke.

Vision

I have double vision because my stroke weakened the muscles to one eye. That is corrected by having a prism in one lens of my glasses. The vision is blurred because of the nature of the temporary prism. Day to day I have normal, if blurred sight. The trouble is without them I still have double vision, so showering is difficult, waking up I cannot see the clock clearly and activities like swimming are difficult.

The prognosis? Originally, I was told that I could have an operation that would tighten the muscles of my right eye. To be honest, I really did not fancy being awake while the surgeon operated on my eye. Over time, the limitations of having a prism in my glasses became obvious. I came to feel that an operation was the way forward. It now seems that my eye muscles have become stronger and that the operation may not be an option anymore. My double vision may be something that I have to live with.

The other big effect that my stroke has had had on my vision is loss of depth perception. That means that although that can see that I am walking up to a curb I have no idea whether the curb is 4 inches high or 1. I tend to stumble, a lot.

Still an issue, and probably always will be.

Walking

I could only walk with a stick after my stroke. I really did not want that to be the case. Supported and encouraged by Lauren from the Occupational Health team I practiced walking, with the stick. Together we walked miles through the corridors of the hospital, and I began to get pretty cocky, it would not be long until I ditched the stick. Lauren kept reminding me that the corridors in hospital are flat, no curbs, no uneven pavements, no potholes. I should have listened more.

Leaving hospital, I decided that I would walk a few miles each day in order to be able to ditch the stick. The first few times I walked into town, which I did every day, were difficult. Yes, there were curbs, uneven pavements, and potholes. Each day was a new challenge.

However, 10 days after my stroke I ditched the stick!

Success!!

Leg and Knee Problems

Immediately after my stroke I had sensory problems down my right side, you can read about them in my previous post.

The issues resolved themselves relatively quickly for my upper body, but my leg and foot have taken longer and the problems persist to a lesser extent.  I still have nerves firing when I put on socks and shoes, but at least now it is not painful.  My foot sometimes tells me that it is hot, but it no longer feels like it is on fire.

One aspect that came to the fore a couple of months ago was the loss of strength in my right leg.  I began to have pains in my knee.  They were not related to my stroke; most likely it is arthritic in origin.  The upshot is that I have begun to exercise to build up the knee muscles and reduce the pain. (Which is going very well, thanks for asking).  What has been revealed to me is that my right leg is way less strong than my left, as a result of my stroke.  I would not have known this or that I was favouring my right leg unless I had started to exercise.  The benefit is that future leg and hip problems may well be avoided

Another success!

Speech

After my stroke I had speech problems.  One side of my face did not work so explosive sounds like “b” or “p” were almost impossible.  I rang my boss at work from the hospital to say that I was still alive and to say that I had some bananas in my desk drawer and that he had better move them before the went off and smelled.  You can imagine how difficult that conversation was, if only I had to tell him that I had something else, like chocolate or sweets in my drawer!

One odd thing, or not, was that I could never hear that my speech was affected.  To me, I sounded normal.  As the left side of my face decided to work again my speech started to be clearer.  There were issues, for example, about a month after my stroke I rang the doctor’s office to ask for a repeat prescription.  The woman on the end of the phone was very curt and impatient.  She said that she could not understand me to which my reply was “I am not bloody surprised; I have just had a bloody stroke!”  Her attitude changed.

Even now I have some issues when speaking but no where as bad as they were.

A partial success!

Mind , Memory, and Depression after My Stroke

The problem with mind and memory issues is that they are internal and not obvious to others.  When I “ditched the stick” it was obvious to everyone and Jane and friends all complimented me and said how well I was doing.  With mind and memory issues it is so difficult to gauge progress, if any.

One result of my stoke, as for many who suffer a stroke, was I descended into depression, again.  I had only just come off the medication and I was pleased that I was recovering.  Over night I was in that dark place, again.  I have written about depression here.  Since my stroke I feel that I have been recovering and quietly stopped the medication a couple of weeks ago.  I have not told anybody.  Why not?  Because when I stopped before I paid too much attention to how I felt. I was concerned that others would confuse a bad mood with slipping back.  This time round I am putting the depression out of my thoughts and no one has commented on any bad moods.  It seems to be working.

My memory is not what it was.  My stroke is the probable cause.  I always felt quite quick witted, able to recall events and ideas.  Now there is a veil of grey mist that I must make my way through to reach the right words.  Recently I took cuttings from a Perpetual Sweet Pea for Roni.  The trouble is that whenever I think about Perpetual Sweet Peas the words that come into my mind are Perpetual Sweet Potatoes.  Even writing the words is difficult.  It’s like riding a cycle and seeing a pothole.  No matter how hard I try to avoid the hole I seem to steer towards it.

Similarly, I know that my mind is not as sharp as it was.  I doubt if I could hold my own in a sharp discussion about politics, my mind is not up to speed.  Is it improving?  I have no idea.  I work at sudoku’s, obsessively sometimes, hoping that my mind is not descending into dementia.

Work to be done.

My Stroke -Conclusion

Overall, I think that I am recovering well from my stroke.  They tell you that the improvement after a stroke stops after 3 or 4 months.  That is not true, the pace of improvement slows, that’s all.  The gains become smaller, but they are there.  As time passes it becomes progressively more difficult to remember what it was like on 14^th June 2018.  Where I am now is my new normal. 

Do I still wake up feeling lucky to have dodged the bullet, confident that everything is improving?  Not every day, but often.

If you want to know more about strokes, the effects, treatment and recovery or want support please follow this link. They are good people.

A self-indulgent post?  Well, yes but one I needed to write.

Tags: health, stroke